Have you ever heard the term, “Remember who helped you get to where you are”? Often, when you hear this phrase, it is being used to reflect on the positive attributes others contributed to your success. However, have you noticed when people end up in a mess, nearly no one says “remember who helped you to get where you are”?
A college student that is failing a class because they habitually hung out late with friends drinking and partying vs finding a group of students that habitually study and find time to celebrate with a few drinks and a party is often overlooked in this scenario. Rather than pointing out the people that helped the student arrive at a failing grade, people will simply say, “Well you should have studied harder, you should have gotten a tutor, you should have done your homework”, etc. Rarely do people roll back the layers to see why or how the person ended up in the situation.
While everyone is responsible for their own behavior, too often people don’t hold others responsible for the company that they keep and the role those people played in their unfortunate circumstances unless it is something extreme. Drunk driving, criminal activity, or flunking out of college are not the only instances in which keeping the wrong company can throw your whole life off track.
There are some people that keep you stuck at the same level year after year. Instead of growing they cause you to move backward or make lateral moves. Same situation every year, just different people, places, and things. These are people, places, and things that have helped you get comfortable with being complacent.
It could be the group of friends that you are hanging out with at a dead end job that isn’t actually meant to be a career. Instead of going to school to learn a new skill together, you are still doing the exact same thing you did when you met; parties, socials, hanging out, and most importantly just existing.
You all talk about what you want to do with your future, and you may even go to vision board planning parties every year and make the best of resolutions and plans to change things but because of the company you keep, you never follow through with these plans.
These people, places, and things always have a way of bringing up a distraction or even talk you out of going after your goals. There is a saying that misery loves company, but too often people do not recognize misery when they see it. Extreme cases of misery seem to be the only thing that warrants red flags.
There are more subtle cases of misery, people who want results with no effort or real change on their part that play the blame game. They don’t want to be left behind, but they also don’t want to do what is necessary to get ahead so they are stuck in this gray area of neither being a complete failure, but not succeeding either. They simply exist.
They do just enough to get just enough to masquerade as if they are doing all the grand things that they speak of. It is vital to realize that these people are not your friends and furthermore they will suck you dry. Remember, they are comfortable exactly where they are, living the way they have chosen to live, they want your company in their complacency.